It seems the world of social networks is being destroyed. Be it well meaning or simply destroyed by legislation one thing is certain.

A lot of good work by hard working people is being destroyed by a minority of evil people in the world. 

I do not know what it was that caused the change but communities were destroyed by attitude.


Good luck to you all.


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My mother was cremated yesterday. It was a humanist service as she had requested. and we chose 3 songs by Ken Dodd which were played beginning middle and end. Starting with Tears then during a pause for thought we played Among my Souvenirs and everyone left to the Happiness .

These songs were from my mothers heart, I know that because she sang them even when her memory was fading. They sounded wonderful to me but I suppose that is perhaps just sentiment.

I have attached a copy of her own memories (here) exactly as she wrote them for anyone who would like to get to know my mother.

I am glad she is at last resting. 



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I am broken....

My mother has died

She was fine last Thursday when I visited. Reasonably happy and her usual self.

I got a phone call on the Sunday morning from one of her carers to say she was not eating.

When I got to her she seemed tired I got some rehydration sachets and made her drink some but she looked as if she would be sick so I phoned the NHS medical help line.

They said they would get a doctor out that afternoon.

None had come by 5pm. The help line phoned me and I told them no dr had been. 

My mother was now sleeping all the time. 

They sent an ambulance and she was taken to Accident and emergency.

By the time I got there she was already being attended to. I sat for hours while they did tests and monitored her vitals. 

although she was not recognising me her vitals were fine but she had some kind of infection. More blood tests and they decided to admit her to the assessment ward.

The Doctor said she was fine she was in the right place and she could rest. Said I could go home for the night.

Next morning I phoned and she had just died!!!  They had restarted her heart twice but she kept dying so she had obviously had enough


To my surprise I found she had been writing about her life for years. It was not much but it is very precious to me. It describes her youth and happiness but also her loneliness after the death of my father so many years ago.

So I typed it up word for word. I intend to include all of the stories she told me that she did not write down.

Her deafness made her feel so lonely. I wonder how many older lonely people are out there cut off from the world?



Happier times

mam and dad wedding My mam as a young woman marrying my dad. They were a great couple. I miss them both. 


DSC00002Before things started to go wrong.



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mam and dad wedding

Well it's that time of year when the rush of Christmas and New Year is over. I had severe back pain from about mid November till about a week ago, so the festivities were not really............ Festive.

We are now getting the bitter winds and snow that the USA is finished with and sends the leftovers to us... Ta for that

Our wonderful filipino neighbours moved out on 22nd December this has left a gaping hole in our lives as we loved them to bits, especially the little girls. They are now going through the hell of getting a newly built house fixed after all the building errors people are subjected to. They have no bathroom or shower available due to drainage problems but as the toilets are working  they fixes are low priority. How a person can spend hundreds of thousands of pounds only to get broken goods is beyond me!!

Liz wants us to buy a bungalow instead of our two story house, which has been and still is perfect for us!!!

It may have something to do with a fall down stairs that happened nearly a year ago now that left her with lingering pains.

I do not want to move as we have never had trouble here and the new neighbour is a widower ex policeman so he should tick the boxes. We put a lot of money into this house and we would not see a return on it. The price of our property has hardly changed in the last 10 years.

There is a bungalow over the road for sale but it is next to a grocery/licence shop and has seen a lot of changes of hands so it is probably troublesome. 

Liz has started to show advanced signs of aging due to her life long epilepsy, they confirmed her brain was damaged when they did scans ahead of her recent operation which did wonders for her, but she needs a walking stick at times and is about 10 years older in reaction and balance tests so she is older than me now.

I do worry about the future now. When you are younger death is a long way away for you and your partner. It sound pessimistic but I see a glow of death far away on the horizon now, a bit like the first glow you see before the sun rises. 

The main thing is we are thousands of times better off than many other people in this world, yes we have worked for it but at least we live where something can be achieved as opposed to places in this world that seem to be set on self destruction. Complicated I know but I am glad I live in one of the better countries.

I have become disillusioned with America over the last year, the country seems to be changing for the worse looking at it from afar. It is depressing to see a political mean streak snaking across the continent despite the many people who oppose it. Your current leader is not a refined person

Having said that, Britain is also steering itself towards a cliff edge like a lemming late for his jump. Who knows we may come through this and prosper in about 20 years but it will be too late for the majority of people who voted to leave the EU. Their short sightedness has condemned the young generation to a future that offers less opportunities. The minds of people who remember empire and glory have destroyed Britain's influence in this game.  My son is so mad that he said "When they change the passports back to blue, i'm getting a red cover for it!" Such is his dismay.

Next problem we will face is when France spits it's dummy out and pushes the border back from their shore to ours. Then we will have all of the people trying to illegally march into the country only they will have nothing to stop them unless we set up some kind of internal no mans land with fences and guard towers and dogs. THAT could well happen. We will then end up deporting people just like the USA is doing now.

Well lets see what summer brings.......


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Image result for dead ant

Prompted by a reminder from the venerable Scott of Sbevis I am writing to report that the antwar this year whimpered into a tiny tale of 2 ants.... The sum total of invasion forces found. If there were more they obviously ran back to tell of the blood and gore fate that met their fellow scouts. Maybe I did hear the distant screams of horror as I dragged out the beaten bodies of the invaders and deposited them for all of antworld to see as a warning of their fate should they attempt an invasion.

They are still out there in the badlands just beyond my front gate. It was only a few days ago that, while on my jungle run (cutting the hedge), I came upon one of their training camps. I watched using my eye in the sky surveillance... Well I stood and watched.

I could have let them be and would have if it were not the aerial troops that suddenly appeared from their underground bunkers.  Intelligence reports came in.. Those things have wings. Probability studies indicated they might be capable of flight. Defcon 3 was immediately instigated and chemical warfare became the most suitable response.

It was not a battle, it was an annihilation. Some time in the future I will probably be brought up on war crimes. I can hear them now as I stand in the dock head bowed in shame.

"Your honor," whoever that may be. "Here stands before you the genocidal mass murderer who year after year attacked and destroyed innocent travellers and farmers. There is no single word to describe him. His last act was one of an absolute madman, when he attacked and killed a whole colony with no provocation at all."

"It's true, It's true," I will wail in reply. My only defence is the fear of further invasion, in fact I caught 2 of their advance party."

You can't prove this the prosecution interceded.

How could I the bodies had long since been dragged off by the would be invaders.

I cannot conceive of any punishment that could account for so many deaths, but one thing I do know, if I have to do it again I will. So stick that in your ant pipe and smoke it! 


Coming soon... A new series.. Ice Age - War of the Winds.....


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Displaying jason and daz wedding.jpg

Well my gay son went and found the perfect partner... Daz on the left here. This guy is fantastic.. I love to chat with him and am really pleased Jason found some-one who truly loves him.

Gay love is beyond my understanding so I just accept the realities of a different kind of lifestyle. We spent 2 days with them buy inviting them to join us on our annual holiday to Whitby. It was good to see them happy.

The wedding was a private affair between them and a friend, We did not even get to see it... Once again the "normality" of life escaped us... Ahh well such is life... 


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Two months since Christmas and it seems like a year ago already.


Things have moved on in good ways and bad.


My knee is making a wonderful recovery, thanks to a series of exercises I found on the Net. It has been painful and at times I thought I was doing more damage but the aim was to muscle build. It seems the muscle tension that holds the knee in place can be lost very quickly after an injury. Well I'm almost walking normally again with NO pain But I cannot see myself running ever again, there seems to be damage that will never get that better. 


Liz has been to Sheffield hospital to see the Radiologists that carry out Gama Knife surgery. They want to operate on the brain growth that causes most of her attacks ASAP. She has reached a point where real damage is being done. That and our quality of life has hit rock bottom Her daily attacks are preventing us from planning any kind of enjoyment. So we await a phone call to say they will be sending a car to take us back.

They have made it clear that it is not possible to remove the whole growth as that would cause brain damage but there is a 75% chance of an improved life for a few years

Her nose is also still giving her terrible pain (another result of having severe Epilepsy and falling so much. We will be going to hospital for that too soon.


My son Jason is going to get married to his Partner Daz in a private ceremony on 7th July. We are not invited. There will just be them and 2 close friends. They do not want to make this a big deal. I feel I will be missing out but respect his wishes. We have missed out on many aspects of having a child as they grow up. Such is the nature of being a gay person. So long as he is happy. He knows he has our full backing.


Now the bad news. .. My mother has Vascular Dementia. I have known for almost 2 years but getting a diagnosis is very hard when the person involved denies anything is wrong I had to wait till I got her into her new home and use that as an excuse to say it was a health assessment

More bad news for my mother. She is already deaf and I thought she was getting cataracts so i dragged her to the hospital (I'm SICK SICK SICK of hospitals) She is much worse than i thought and has a degenerative eye condition that cannot be cured. Sigh... Well she is 91 now and her memory loss means she is never sure what is wrong as she does not remember my explanations...

The doctor who visited Yesterday about her dementia said she was living in a great place and I had done well to pre empt  her condition causing her more worry. Her moods are well balanced and she is not getting depressed so that is half the battle.


I get upset myself at times, I seem to be caught in the middle of two people that need all my time. You know when that happens you seem to ignore your own needs. I realised this recently. I would dearly love to go on some short trips with Liz but her attacks would make this difficult, that and her bullous pemphigoid (skin condition) that means she has to have cotton sheets, Most hotels and apartments seem to avoid them and opt for man made types that would cause her havoc! 

I look forward to Summer and plan to get a wheel chair to get my mother to the coast. Liz will be a bit put out but I don't have that much time left with my mother so tough.


Here's hoping Liz's operation helps........ Life goes on...


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The Tree is up the wreath is on the door I will be going to my mums to turn her Apartment into Santa's grotty grotto

She is losing her sight as well now but cannot be seen by the specialists till next year. I suppose at 91 she is slipping down the priority list

She does not want to come to our place on Christmas day and we have a full calendar, so she will be getting her visit a day early. It will probably not matter as she never knows what day it is.

Liz is suffering greatly with her Epilepsy just now. 45 attacks in November. A record for her. We suspect the growth in her brain is the main cause but we have heard nothing about any treatment yet.

She has fallen a couple of times and has a bad back leg and now her nose is getting in on the act. She has a constant pain on the left side high up where the main nasal bone is. I think it's an infection. Pain killers do not help and she has to wait till Wednesday next week to see doctor. To top it off she was eating a few dats ago and one of her fillings broke. I walked to the dentist to make an apt for her and was shocked to be told. They could not fix it till next week also.

So getting ready for Christmas has become a full on medical situation.

I have a knee injury myself but can manage to hobble around. I think my old ligament injury is turning to arthritis. Time will tell.

Any good news??? Thinks hard......

My son and his partner had a great cruising holiday in the Med this summer. It looked fantastic!... They enjoyed it so much the have booked a Baltic Cruise for next year already!! They also have a great house in a place called Didsbury now and love it. Oh to be young again!!

We cannot really make plans like that until we know what they are doing with Liz, so we will book a cottage in Whitby again for a break. That way if we have to cancel we will not lose too much.


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It's looming up in front of me . I'm crash diving at colossal speed towards a most horrid day. Oh god it's hard to even contemplate it. Sigh there is nothing for it though... 

I will be 60 soon and when Elizabeth asked what she could get for me, my mind went blank and still is... There is nothing I want Nothing

I mean that's absurd I always want something, but now the big day approaches there is nothing.

I have become PRACTICAL  There are no meaningless superfluous gadgets or trinkets that even begin to raise an eyebrow!

I hate this, especially as I know something will pop into my head the day after



It's still 3 weeks away so no best wishes please. I;m just staggered that I can't help Liz with her dilemma. 


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We had an unusually wonderful sunny and very warm day this 19th of March 2015.


Liz went off to the church Thursday powwow time.. Chat chat let's make a rumour time. Lives can be made or destroyed


I threw of my Winter woollies tossed my shirt aside, donned a T shirt and dived into the task off removing the winter moss from the block paved front garden.

The sun beat down relentless and nice and hot. It was glorious!

Iced coffee to hand I toiled on Breaking for occasional sips. Tis during a sip I noticed the advanced infiltration troops. Crouching behind a weed I made my observations. 

They scuttled along well prepared routes uncomfortably close to my kitchen door.

I mean... MARCH! Howay Man (Look it up). Not fair!

Sneaky Formicidae

They seemed to be crowding around an old haunt of theirs long since blocked up, yet somehow they were finding ways of going to ground.

Much spraying of white powder later the ant's did a runner.

"Yeah go on fun for the hill's" I shouted as they retreated into the distance (well the next garden). For some reason I drew strange looks from two attractive dog walkers of the female variety suitably dressed for the unusual warm weather. It could have been my angry shaking of my fist at the grass that looked a little funny.


Liz came home to a swept garden. "You were spotted working," she said. "One of the other women asked if it was my husband doing the garden."

"Yeah that will be him she replied. Ooo you have a handsome husband!" She commented. (I'm in there.)..

Liz apparently replied... "Have I." 


Life goes on..




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